


The Misadventures of the Legendary Vampire (and Friends)!

by amazing_spidey



Category: Trigun
Genre: F/F, M/M, a whole au for halloween??? it’s more likely than you think, ragdoll! milly thompson, vampire! vash, werewolf! wolfwood, witch! meryl stryfe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26963440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazing_spidey/pseuds/amazing_spidey
Summary: Tasked to find the most deadliest of creatures, magical witch Meryl Stryfe and her apprentice ragdoll Milly Thompson go on an adventure of a lifetime! But is this creature truly deadly like the rumors say he is, or is there more to the man than meets the eye. . .?
Relationships: Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. The Mission

_A man, cloaked in red, one the most strangest men on the planet, strides along the sandy plains of the night. . ._

_He is known as Vash the Stampede._

_The most deadliest vampire to ever live._

_”Meryl. . .”_

_”Meryl!”_

The Insurance Witch slowly opens her eyes, lifting her head from the desk that she slept on. What time was it. . .? Last she checked, it was still the morning. Either way, Meryl directs her attention to the ragdoll that stood before her. 

“Milly? Why are you holding all of those files?”

”Well,” the tall girl smiles nervously, giving Meryl a slight giggle so it wouldn’t be _that_ much to handle. “We have a task! The chief says that he wants to talk to you about it privately.”

Somehow, she had a bad feeling about it, but Meryl springs up from her desk and walks about as if she has nothing to fear. Besides, it might not even be that hard of a mission, right? Everything the Insurance Company did, it was always to fix disasters created by magic _with_ magic (and money), of course!

It shouldn’t be that bad. . .

Right?

_”Meryl, you’re one of the best witches that we’ve had on our radar, fixing disasters swiftly with your magic. But ever since a certain. . .person has appeared, towns have been destroyed, but not by magic.”_

_”So, what are you saying, sir?”_

_”I’m saying that reports of the legendary vampire being rampant have come to light. In other words:_

**_You have to find Vash the_ ** _**Stampede**._ _”_

”I HAVE TO WHAT?!,” the witch yells at the top of her lungs. She definitely had a bad feeling about this, why didn’t she listen to herself?! The chief doesn’t look too upset about the yelling—in fact, he looked as if he agreed with her about it.

”I’m putting you and Milly in charge of finding the vampire. Then, you two can deal your magic and bring him here for evaluation. We know that he might cause certain. . .attention, but it’s only for the company’s good.”

”But he’s the most dangerous man on Gunsmoke! Sir, I don’t want to die just by looking for some rascal that only comes out at night!”

“You’ll be _fine,_ Meryl _._ Also, one more thing,” the chief says, handing Meryl lots and lots of briefcases that were filled with various papers as well as clothing. 

“Both of you will be out of the city of at least four or five months. It’s like a vacation! Anyways, best of luck!”

The witch couldn’t say anything. All she did was calmly walk out of the office with all of the suitcases, scurrying past Milly right to the locker rooms. Her apprentice followed, wondering as to why she wouldn’t say anything—was it really that upsetting? A few moments of silence past, and then she spoke.

”. . .Milly?”

”Yes, ma’am?”

”. . .I’d rather die than follow the vampire for four months.”

Nothing else was said as the girls grabbed their stuff and headed out. This will _not_ be fun. _At all._


	2. The Legend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls wander along a town in ruin, and they find their culprit. . .

Nothing was said on the ride. The witch was still doubting it all. Why her? Why couldn’t it be someone like the chief’s assistant?! Sure, she was strong, but even _she_ said that Meryl could handle it better than her! How was that possible?! She was the _assistant_! 

Milly hums a tune, something that catches her attention so that she could get off the stress of it all. “Hey, what are you humming, Milly?”

”I’m humming a song that a townsperson taught me! It’s a very old song,” the ragdoll replies, still riding along with her Thomas slowly. When Meryl taught her how to ride one of those, Milly’s arm detached from her body. At least the stitches that she wore now were good enough to hold her together. . .

”Meryl?”

”Yes?”

”. . .I’m sort of scared about him. What if he drinks my blood?”

The Insurance Witch raises an eyebrow. What blood? Milly was stuffed with cotton, how was he gonna get blood from that? Anyways, she shakes that thought off from her mind, traveling along with her Thomas a little bit faster now.

”Whatever the case, we’re gonna find him! It shouldn’t be that far ahead to the town we’re heading to—all we have to do is wait. Nighttime could be any minute now—it’s close to it.”

Hopefully he doesn’t try to destroy said town while she’s sleeping. . .

_”Hey, buddy, I don’t think you should walk out like that. Your skin looks like it’s cooking!”_

”I’ll be fine,” the man cloaked in red gestures to his coat, pulling the hood of it over his head. The little puffs of smoke that rose from him disappeared in an instant, and so did the car that dropped him off. 

Boots crunching the desert sands quietly, calming even, as if he were swaying with each step. One after another, he crosses his legs in what appeared to be some sort of. . .dance? Who the hell was this man, anyway? Or in this case— _what_ was he? The vampire does a small twirl before sticking his arms out to the sky, the hood on his head falling off because of it. 

“Alone a—GAH!”

Quickly, he places it back on his head before twirling around in happiness yet again.

_“A man in some sort of coat?”_

The witch nods at the driver, who passed the town they were heading to not too long ago. “We’re heading to Orleans, and I was wondering if passengers saw him. Did you see him?”

”Well, I actually took him on a ride to Orleans! Hm, let’s see. . .he had some sort of weird getup with a coat, I think he was a blonde, rather tall, and to top it all off, he had lots of piercings.”

”That information right there is what we’ll need. Let’s go, Milly, and thank you for answering!”

The ladies sped off on their Thomases, leaving the taxi driver there. . .and to top it all off, he had no gas.

_The night calls, outrunning the day. It’s their time._

All of the citizens of Orleans bordered up their homes, workers quickly heading back inside in order to not face the bloodthirsty night. Apparently, a man named Vash the Stampede just announced that he was going to take the blood of innocents, as well as their earnings that night.

”We’re gonna go and face him, aren’t we, Meryl. . .?”

”O—of course we will!,” the witch states quietly, slowly stepping out of the side of a tavern building with her friend hiding behind her. The man that they saw had long hair, a peculiar set of headphones, and wore a _ridiculous_ shade of white. 

“. . .Mr. Vash, sir?”

The man states as if that’s not his name, but he perks up before practically yelling, “YES?”

”I—I’m Meryl Stryfe from the Bernardeli Magic Society! It’s. . .rather peculiar to meet you!”

”I’m Milly Thompson. . .,” the ragdoll whimpers out. This was not a good first impression with the man, but at the same time, it felt. . . _off_. This man looked nervous about being in the dark, yet he said everything that he was gonna do.

”. . .You said Bernardeli, right?”

“. . .Yes.”

. . .Instead of somehow not sucking their blood, the man took off the drape to reveal black clothing, along with a bunch of guns underneath. The witch shielded her friend, prepared to work some magic until—

“HELP! THIS THING’S GONE CRAZY!”

Some idiot with a red coat and spiky hair was failing to ride a Thomas (not to mention _HER_ Thomas), heading towards all three of them with a yelp and a scream. The girls run from whatever was about to happen, while the guy dressed in black was trampled by the animal’s back.

. . .Whoops.

The man on the Thomas scurries off of it, watching as “Vash” wiggles out from underneath it. 

“HEY, YOU IDIOT, YOU DARE TRAMPLE ME?!”

”. . .Uh, I don’t know who you are.”

”WHAT—?! I’M VASH THE STAMP—. . .”

The weirdo’s eyes, so sharp and red. . . _nothing_ like the long-haired man’s brown ones. He quivers in fear of the man in the crimson cloak, his headphones falling as he ran even faster than the girls. 

“. . .Huh. So much for introductions,” the vampire says, sniffing around for a quick moment. What is that? There’s people nearby. . .well, he walks, sniffing a little harder for a second before bumping into someone—

Actually, what is _THAT_?! Was that some tall ragdoll girl?!

“. . .Hello!,” the blonde waves. The girl greets him and waves as well. The short girl, however, grabs him by the collar of his cloak in a very angry manner—she looks pissed as all hell, the flames of it burning in her eyes.

”You are such an idiot! Thanks to you, Vash ran away and now we have to go after him!”

“But—,” he tries to say, but they’re already gone once the lady uses a quick spell. The vampire sighs, spotting them from a very far place, not too close away from “Vash”. He knows what he has to do at this point. . .

A snarl was heard, and the vampire takes a drink from the slowly dying Thomas. All he knows is that it’s the night—

And he’s _hungry_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vash said “ARE YOU TWO BLIND OR SOMETHING” after this


	3. The Mishap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meryl and Milly chase after the infamous vampire, while another person tags along for the ride. Is their target not who he said he was, or was he there all along. . .?

”WHY ARE ALL OF YOU SO FAST?!”

A shout from the sandy dunes was let out as the vampire ran after both the oblivious girls and the obvious imposter—just trying to catch up was already tiring enough! What did he do to deserve this. . .?

“What the—why are you following us around, you depraved lunatic?!,” Meryl yells, caught off guard by the man who was somehow already beside their Thomas. . .but wasn’t he just a few yards away? That didn’t feel right either—even at Orleans, somehow this weirdo seems very off-putting.

The vampire looks confused at that, answering with: “Because I’m trying to stop the guy we all saw!”

“What do you mean by that?! Are you after his bounty or something?! You’re probably some money-hungry drifter—“

”Meryl, look out!,” Milly warns as the wimp draws out some sort of machine-gun looking weapon, pointing it at the trio before firing without a care in the world. The witch quickly takes action, casting a spell that encases both of them in a bubble, yet. . .where did the crazy fool just go?!

A cloak was draped over himself in front of the shield, catching bullets that didn’t even seem to damage him. . .nor the cloak himself. 

_. . .Who is this crazy fool that almost got himself killed in front of strangers?,_ Meryl thinks. . .who the hell _was_ he?

The man stands, looking at their attacker very calmly. Why wasn’t he doing anything. . .? All he’s doing is standing there—he hasn’t said a word! The imposter grunts, still letting out a load of lead at the stranger.

Yet, he still hasn’t gotten a single scratch on him. . .

The spiky haired idiot’s face-to-face with the gunsman, his finger tracing the machine gun slowly yet surely enough to cause fear to build up—he sighs, and the imposter starts shaking up a storm. . .wasn’t this the fool that he saw with those red eyes?!

“. . .You should check your ammo next time!”

”. . . _WHAT_?!”

The man takes the machine gun from the faker’s hands, shooting him as if he had done harm. The girls look shocked, but right after the shot, “Vash” starts hysterically screaming and crying. It turns out that there were no real bullets after all—they were springy, soft, fake little darts that actually didn’t do any sort of damage!

”You’re kidding. . .,” the Insurance Witch whispers quietly, dropping the bubble as her ragdoll friend runs past the stranger in order to retrieve the large gun. She recognized it, for it was _her_ gun! 

And she looks pretty upset about it, too. 

“YOU STOLE MY GUN, YOU EVIL MAN!,” Milly yells, but the man was already gone from everyone’s sights. The brunette turns to the blonde, smiling as she did so. “Thank you for helping us! But how did you manage to switch out the bars with fake darts?”

“It was simple—when I heard about what was going on,” the man says, brushing himself off, “I decided to take matters into my own hands, so I switched out the metal things that you had with fake bullets!”

”That sounds _amazing_! You’re really quick with your work, aren’t you, Mister. . .?”

”Oh, me? I’m V—“

The witch rolls off of Milly’s Thomas, runs hella fast, and quickly slaps the everloving peace out of the man. Whatever lead she had on the escapee, he sabotaged it yet again! Who in the hell was this guy, anyway?! First, he scares the Stampede off, and now, he does it again!

”OW! What was that for, lady?!”

” _That_ was for letting the most legendary man of all creatures get away, you damned idiot! NOW what are we gonna do?! We don’t know where to find him, the sun’s about to come up, and it’s all _YOUR_ fault!”

At the mention of the sun, the idiot looks at the horizon, seeing that the sun climbed over a few hills of sand not too long ago. It touches his uncovered hand slightly, smoke appearing from it—he quickly snatches it away from the sunlight, running out of sight.

”. . .What was that just now, Meryl? His hand looked like as if it were burning. . .”

The witch was silent for a moment. Now that she thinks about it. . .

”It must’ve been some sort of fluke. . . Anyways, Milly, let’s find our lead yet again!”

”Right, ma’am!”

Even though it didn’t show on her face, the witch thought about it—humans don’t burn like that within contact with the sun. . .in any case, she shakes her thought off, riding back with Milly to the town of Orleans. 

_Meanwhile, in another part of the sands. . ._

_”Man, it’s not fair as to how people keep taking my name! I should come up with a better one. . .maybe then all of this stuff won’t be blamed on m—“_

_The sound of guns pointing were at his face, and the vampire shouts from the top of his lungs:_

”COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE?!”


	4. The Bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Vampire meets a family who claims that he’s bitten their daughter. Under all the spite and the hate on the Stampede, could it be that he’s not the true cause?

_“COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE?!”_

_”Shut your trap, you idiot!”_

The man who looked a small time bartender still had his gun pointed at the blonde, not taking any chance of lifting his hand off of it. Why is it that any time he goes somewhere, something _bad_ follows?! Nothing’s ever good at any point!

“Hey, can’t we just get along. . .? What’s with the sudden hostility?”

”A family’s child. . .,” one of the women who looked like a worker for the bartender started off with, having her own gun pointed at the stranger, “. . .a family’s child was supposedly bitten by the Vampire—the vampire known as Vash the Stampede.”

. . .So _that’s_ where the hostility’s coming from. Similar stories happened at times: a father was bitten, a mother was bitten, children were bitten—hell, even animals were bitten, and he doesn’t even remember meeting any of them. . .

“. . .Did he ever show his face?”

“We didn’t see his face at all, and that’s why we aren’t taking any chances.”

Another man walks through the crowd of people this time, wearing glasses as he stood toe-to-toe with the vampire. A small tilt of his head and a calming sense of realization washed over him—he could sense it. 

“. . .You’re the child’s father, aren’t you?”

The father sits in silence, confused and shocked as to how the man knew that all from one look. As if he shook the cat off of his tongue, he spoke again. 

“. . .Yes. My name is Andrew Hendrix—my daughter had been bit by a terrible monster. . .I don’t supposed you’ve heard of Vash the Stampede, right?”

The Vampire doesn’t try to talk his mouth off, shaking his head at the question. It would be better to lie about his own status than to tell the truth—he was never one for confrontation. The crowd start to calmly lower their guns away, some whispering about how he doesn’t know the legend. . .

“. . .Then that settles it. He’s safe, everyone, you can put your weapons away now.”

The crowd obliges, but they still wonder. . .

“Mr. Hendrix,” the red clothed man looks back to the father as he draws his attention away from the wondering crowd, “do you mind if I see your daughter?”

_There isn’t much to the house; it’s dark, as if they were closing the child away from the world. It felt like how he lived ever since his childhood. . ._

“You didn’t tell me your name ever since you arrived. What is it?”

“My name. . .?,” Vash repeats softly, trying to think of a good name to use in order not to make anyone else suspicious. . .”it’s, um—it’s Ericks.”

Andrew raises a brow, but he still trudges on through the house with his guest in tow. It’s noticeable that every step would lead to some sort of darkness—it was just like what he has to go through now. Nostalgic, at best.

”Alright, Ericks. When she got bitten, her mother and I took various precautions in order for the townspeople to not harm us. Although they didn’t, some threatened to kill us both—and take away our daughter as well.”

As they traveled up the stairs, Andrew continued to speak.

”So, we bordered up everything. Kept us all in the dark—and away from all the attackers.”

Vash stays quiet until their quest to the room had ended. The father opens the door, an older woman playing with a child was what they were both greeted with. Both of them look, the girl climbing out of the bed to hug Andrew, and the woman waves at the vampire. 

“Hello. We weren’t expecting visitors,” the woman says, shaking hands with Vash. “My name is Evangeline, and our little girl’s name is Lily.”

”Hi!,” Lily waves, quickly going from her dad’s leg in order to hug the Stampede’s leg this time. “Are you a magician? You look like one! Do you do magic? Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat, mister? What’s your name? Are you—“

”Lily, dear, that’s enough,” Andrew chuckles, picking up the child with a small smile. “He’s a guest, that’s all he is. His name is Ericks.”

The vampire smiles at Lily’s enthusiasm, noting the fact that she was just like him at her age—so young, so full of life, even as one of the most deadliest creatures to come across Gunsmoke’s desert plains. “Do you know where the bite is?”

Evangeline looks at her husband a little bit scornfully, however, Vash chuckles out of slight nervousness. “The bite is on her neck—it’s small, but it’s still quite noticeable.” At the mention of the bite, the wife calmly pushes Lily’s hair out of sight so that he could see her neck—two tiny bites, right there on the skin. . .

It seemed different from his usual bites, though—that’s strange. 

“. . .Did you ever take her outside—?”

”Of course we couldn’t! She was bitten by something demonic, Ericks!,” Andrew semi-yells, looking down at his child with a very worried expression on his face.

“But dad—“

”. . .I know you don’t want to go outside. I can tell.”

Lily’s face scrunches up, wigging herself out of her father’s hands. The outlaw thinks. . .the bite doesn’t look similar to his usual ones, but it seemed like he knows what that bite looks like. Whatever had bit the child wasn’t a creature stalking the night. . .

_It wasn’t a vampire’s mark._

”. . .He didn’t bite her.”

”Excuse me?”

”. . .He didn’t bite her. Something else did.”

The father immediately pushes Vash against the wall, the mother’s gasp audible between the two men. He looked angry about what “Ericks” had told him—how _dare_ this man tell him something else that wasn’t the truth?! He doesn’t even know what happened! 

“. . .How do _you_ know? _You_ don’t know what happened to her!”

”It wasn’t the same!”

”. . .What do you mean?,” Evangeline’s voice rose, Andrew’s grip loosening off of Vash’s collar. “It wasn’t the same. . .? Have you seen other bites. . .?”

”. . .I have. That wasn’t a vampire bite,” Vash answers calmly, dark red eyes looming in thought. “I—the vampire’s bites are different from animals. Whatever bit her wasn’t a vampire—it was some sort of mammal that had the same bite pattern as to that of one.”

“If. . .if what you’re saying is true, then. . .if she didn’t turn then. . .”

Everyone’s eyes widened. She. . .

_”She’s outside!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VASH IM ROOTING FOR YOU PLEASE GET INVOLVED


	5. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Stampede is forced to intervine when the town goes after the family! Will he save them, or will the truth of his identity be revealed through it all. . .?

” _Dammit_ , _she walked right past us! I didn’t know that she’d actually leave!”_

The father’s words were filled with frustration as he ran along with “Ericks” and Evangeline out of the house, looking around to see if she was anywhere nearby. . .why did she have to leave like that?! Who knows what could’ve happened to her out here! She could’ve been burning, or worse. . .

 _Killed_.

Andrew didn’t want to think of that thought. Hopefully, she was alright in a shady place. . .

“It’ll be alright, dear,” Evangeline quietly reassures him, touching his shoulder gently with her hands. “Lily will be safe—I know she will be. She’s smart, and she’ll figure out a way for herself to be back home.”

The Stampede looks even farther than their vision could take him—where did she go? The house was miles away from the village. . .she couldn’t have walked. There’s no way that their daughter could’ve made it there by _walking_. However, he hears something. . .distant whimpers, somewhere distant but a little close to the town.

“. . .Someone must’ve drove her there.”

”Wait, what do you mean by “ _someone_ ”? You think someone took my daughter all the way to that crummy village?”

“I thought you associated with them—why do you think it’s crummy?,” the vampire asks Andrew. The man sighs, pushing up his glasses before he started to talk again. 

“When it was brought up that our daughter got bitten, we didn’t leave—. . .they kicked us out. We didn’t want to go and, like you said, we thought it wasn’t a bite by the vampire at first. . .but we started to believe after we heard the rumors.

Now that’s she near that horrible town, I don’t know if. . .”

Tears start to run down the man’s face, his wife comforting him with a worried look. That town. . .there’s no way she’d make it back alive. He didn’t want to believe that, but they _hated_ them just because of a bite that wasn’t even caused by the so-called culprit. . .

“ _Are you really going to give up on your own child that easily?_ ”

“. . .What?”

 _”Are you going to give up on her? You’ve never gave up on her in the past, so why would you now? She’s important to you, right?_ _We’ll show them that they’re wrong about your family, and she **will** survive! Do you get that?”_

. . .This man. . .who _was_ he, and why did he want to help them so bad? They could’ve fended for themselves, but going against a whole town for their child. . .

That’s something that Andrew would do any day.

”. . .We do,” the wife’s voice broke through, the same amount of determination ringing true. The husband takes a deep breath. 

_“Tell us what we have to do.”_

“Hey, let me go!,” the little girl shouts, trying to pry her way out of a gunslinger’s hands. The gunslinger laughs along with his henchmen at her pathetic attempt to try and escape.

”And risking letting go of a vampire with some sort of bounty on her head?! NOT A CHANCE, KID! I wouldn’t want to miss this for the world to see—small, little Lily Hendrix with a bounty of $$100,000, all for being a vampire!”

”I’m _not_ a vampire!”

”Really? The money says otherwise, kid!”

Meanwhile, hidden in a trash can, the actual vampire watches them from afar, the parents crouched behind it. “This is your plan? _This_ is really your plan?! Do you think we won’t get caught doing this, Ericks?!”

The vampire chuckles a bit nervously. . .he was actually hiding in the trashcan for a reason, but other than that, he still watches. 

“If we go out there in the open like that, we’d end up being filled with holes! The only way we can grab their attention and get Lily back is by the element of surprise.”

Andrew lifts up the lid, staring at “Ericks” very disappointedly. Didn’t he say that they were going to get their daughter back. . .? The vampire sighs, defeated by a simple look, throwing _something_ out in the open so that the weirdo and his busboys would get distracted. . .

”. . .Boss?”

”What is it?!”

”. . .There’s a banana peel out here.”

”So?! Go throw it away in that trashcan!”

Nothing’s better than a collective quiet yelling of “ _GODDAMMIT_ ” from a group of people. Since the plan’s sort of been thwarted, the vampire leaps out of the trashcan, unaware that he was already reaching the sand below him—

—-and he rolls pretty hard onto the sand. Lily’s expression changes into a rather excited one, so there’s a good thing!

“Magic Man!”

The child scrambles out of the boss’s hold, quickly running over to Vash happily as if she’s seen her most favorite doll in the world! Whew, at least she was safe—

. . .He could hear it. A set of more footsteps approaching from both sides, one more loud than the other. The boss and his henchmen stood on one side, the townspeople on another. Immediately, Andrew and Evangeline step from the shadows, pointing their guns at both groups. 

However, the gunslingers walk over to the crowd and stay there—that could only mean one thing. . .

”. . .They hired you,” Vash says it for the parents. “They hired you to take away a little girl.”

”That _“little girl”_ isn’t even human! We saw the mark, we know that she was bitten by that deranged lunatic!”

“She wasn’t—“

The outlaw points his gun at Andrew. “You let her come back in here and try to infect us. . .you _knew_ that she wasn’t human. Instead of going for her first, we should put a bullet through your skull!” 

He pulls the trigger, but—. . .he does it again. And again. And again. Sure, there’s the sound of bullets, yet. . .

_**How the hell did the dimwit on the ground suddenly get back up?!** _

He was holding the barrel, the bullet’s dropping onto the desert floor silently. “Hey, now, I think you shouldn’t do that.”

”What the hell do you mean by that?!,” the gunslinger shouts, and right after, multitudes of bullets start falling out of the citizens’s weapons. When did he unload their guns. . .? He was just on the ground a second ago! 

“Because of that.”

”Let go of my gun, you son of a bitch!”

No matter how many times the crook moved it, the blonde still wouldn’t budge. Meanwhile, people were picking up bullets on the ground, trying to figure out which bullets belonged to which gun. . .

”. . .Now that I think about it, you missed one, stupidass.”

The vampire looks shocked to the point where his grip loosened on the gun, the gunslinger knocking him down in the most pathetic of ways. “. . .Actually,” he smiles, a gruesome smile that Vash never liked. . .

”I should have shot _you_ instead.”

The gun was pointed at Lily. _Everyone_ was horrified—even people that hated the family didn’t want to see the girl get shot. Some people actually took a second glance—her skin wasn’t burnt. . .she looked perfectly fine in the sun. 

A single pull of the trigger, and the world froze. 

Her parents screamed her name, the townspeople looked on in horror, but Vash, determined, _hoping_ that he was fast enough. . .

”. . . _NO_!” 

. . .The blonde runs, sliding down on his knees, the cloak fluttering off of him in the wind. His arms quickly wrap themselves around the girl, and his back catches the bullet instead. 

Smoke, not from the bullet, rises from his body. It wasn’t easy to tell them who he was, but thank _everything_ that Lily wasn’t harmed through it all. Humans, mortals—they could never understand what it was like. . .

. . .But they could always sympathize with him. 

Lily’s first instinct is to grab the cloak, placing it back on his body so he wouldn’t burn up as bad. 

“. . .Are you—are you Vash the Stampede?,” she whispers quietly to him, and he, unfortunately, nods. “I know, you’re probably gonna tell your parents about me and—.”

_”Thank you.”_

It surprises him at first, but. . .he gives her a very happy hug. Instead of yelling or even more shooting, the townsfolk slowly start cheering and clapping because the girl was safe.

( However, the boss was given a quick stare down by Vash, and in a few moments, he took away the group’s guns (not to mention their clothes), and threw them out of town. )

Andrew and Evangeline hug their daughter once they retrieve her back from him with smiles. “. . .So, I never mentioned this, but—she actually never thought that you were so bad, she just thought you were. . .misjudged. She thinks this about everyone.”

Vash chuckles, placing the hood of his cloak back on his head. “It would be nice to stay, but I can’t. I have important things to do.”

”That’s fine,” Evangeline nods, taking his hand with the both of hers. “Thank you for saving Lily.”

”I should thank you both—you two motivated me.”

As soon as everyone said their goodbyes to the mysterious crimson man, the Hendrixs waved, as well as the crowd that said their many farewells. 

The vampire gives a very big wave, and back into the sandy dust he goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drew and eva realizing that he was vash all this time and that he saved their daughter through broad daylight was the chefs kiss of this whole thing


	6. The. . .Dupe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After realizing that their so-called “target” wasn’t the right guy, the girls head back out on their search for Vash the Stampede!

_“Let me ask you again: you mean to tell me that you pretended to be some terrifying man just so you could get your own cut of money from innocent people?”_

”. . . _Yes?”_

It was enough for the witch to hold back and not hex the man in front of her, but she sighed a sigh very tiredly, taking her hand out of her coat’s pocket. Meryl didn’t understand—why is it _so hard_ to find the most legendary vampire to exist?! The Insurance Witch had nothing else to say as she sluggishly walked along with her companion out of Orleans.

. . .Speaking of which, where was her Thomas? Last time she checked, it was somewhere in town two nights ago—some people talked about how they saw a trail of blood and what appeared to look like a Thomas, but nothing was ever confirmed.

”I wouldn’t have guessed that it wasn’t him, Meryl. He didn’t have anything red on, though. . .do you think the other man that we saw was him?”

”Oh, don’t be silly,” the woman huffed, waving her hand nonchalantly. “That bumbling idiot couldn’t be Vash the Stampede, even if he tried to be. Although he did save us, it’s _impossible_ for that man to be him!”

”. . .But he might know _something_ about him, though. Maybe we should ask him if he’s ever saw Vash before!” 

Meryl stops in her tracks. She never thought that Milly would have come up with something so. . .clever. But then, would they ever see him again? Surely, he couldn’t have been far already—maybe he worked for Vash! 

“Brilliant idea, Milly!”

“Thank you, ma’am!”

”. . .Maybe that fool knows where he is and could lead us right to him! Milly, the objective is still the same, but now. . .

_We’re gonna follow our new lead to the ends of the Earth if we have to!”_

“Right, but Meryl, you should look at this!”

The ragdoll hands the witch a rolled-up newspaper, the front headline reading out something that caught her eye:

_**A small town, about 40 iles away from Orleans, has experienced their first ever encounter with Vash the Stampede! Local citizens, however, say that the man had saved—** _

_Saved?_ ** _Saved?_** Vash the Stampede _and “_ saved” all in the same sentence. This guy was supposed to be the most ruthless vampire to exist, and yet, he _**saved**_ people?!

The newspaper crinkles in her hands. 

“Milly.”

”. . .Yes, ma’am?”

” _We’re going to that town and getting to the bottom of this.”_

_“Right!”_

**40 iles later. . .**

_SLAM_ goes the bar door of the town, the short-haired witch huffing and puffing as if she were out of breath. Meanwhile, her ragdoll friend politely smiled at the patrons, placing a hand on Meryl’s back as she led her to the nearest table.

“. . .I’m never walking that many iles again.” 

“Cheer up, Meryl—at least we’re finally here now!”

”Hello, fellow customers! Can I get’cha anything?,” the bartender asks with a smile that matched Milly’s. 

“. . .Water. . . _lots_ of water. . .and information on Vash the Stampede. . .,” Meryl answers, her head falling right on the table out of exhaustion. She let Milly ride the Thomas because she didn’t want her to give it up, nor did she want her to lose limbs as she walked.

”Vash the Stampede, hm? Well, he was here about a day ago, investigating a rumor about a family.”

Meryl blinked. “What family?”

”The Hendrix Family. Before he showed up, a rumor was heard that he was actually in town before everything else—he had bit the daughter of said family, but it was revealed that it was actually a hoax.”

The bartender gives them both tall glasses of water before he continued. 

“The girl was actually bitten by a small cat, and the bite was similar to that of a vampire one. The town was furious when she walked outside, ready to fire—but Vash stepped in and saved the girl from any sort of harm.”

”You’re kidding, right?,” Meryl asks in some disbelief. 

“Well, if you don’t believe me, the Hendrixes live down the road. You can ask them yourself about the whole story.”

An interview with the family. . .

_“Guess this’ll have to do.”_

_”. . .So he was like, “you guys shouldn’t try to shoot at a little girl”, but the big, mean boss was like, “nope, I’m gonna try and shoot a little girl”, but Vash was like “no, you aren’t”, and he stepped in and hugged me away from the bullet and—“_

“ _Okay, okay,” she says with a laugh. “I understand that.”_

The excited Lily giggles in Milly’s arms, looking back to Meryl with a small smile. “So then, I asked him—I asked—“are you Vash the Stampede?” and he was like “yes, but don’t tell anyone” and—oh. I told you two too much!”

Andrew laughs a bit as she covers her mouth, taking Lily back from Milly. “She was really happy when he did save her, though. I didn’t expect him to do that.”

”. . .Hm. I didn’t know he’d be able to do something heroic. . .did you see what he looked like?”

”Um. . .well, yes and no. He did wear red, but he also wore black, too. Blonde, pretty tall, and he has very red eyes.”

That description sounded like—nope, nope, _nope_! She refused to believe that the most stupidest dope in the world was him. Not by a longshot. He was definitely working for him under any sort of circumstances. 

Meryl conjures up a small red flower for Lily, her eyes lighting up with happiness. 

“Thank you for your time, sir! I hope your wife is well on her trip, and I hope you and your family are content with your lives!”

The girls wave at both Andrew and Lily as they exited the house, the witch taking a deep breath. “Mr. Hendrix said that Vash headed east, presumably where the new sandsteamer would approach on its way to Little Jersey.”

”So what do you think we should do, Meryl?,” Milly asks with a tilt of her head.

”. . .Hm. . .I say we find our current lead and follow him there!,” Meryl says confidently. Surprisingly, instead of making her walk, Milly lifts up the Insurance Witch onto her Thomas with a smile. 

“Then let’s go!”

_A l o u d yawn comes from the vampire, walking along the desert sands without any cares in the world. So peaceful, so happy without any troubles. . .maybe tonight’ll be one the best nights he has on the sandsteamer—-_

“Hello! Hey you, in the cloak!,” a familiar voice rang out. Oh, it couldn’t be. . .

”Not you girls again!,” Vash sighs really loudly out of disappointment, looking at the Thomas that trailed right next to him. “Don’t you two have anything better to do than to follow me around. . .?”

”Don’t _you_ have anything better to do other than mess everything up?!,” Meryl yells back in spite. . .man, she’s very scary, even to a _vampire_!

“Anyways, we didn’t get to introduce ourselves in our last little. . .scuffle. My name’s Meryl Stryfe from the Bernardeli Magical Society.”

”And I’m Milly Thompson!,” the ragdoll says happily while being in control of the Thomas. “We never got your name last time, Mister. . .?”

”My name—? Oh, it’s V—.”

The roaring sound of the big sandsteamer stops to a halt, staring down at its three new passengers. The hatch of the door pulls itself down, a man stepping in the doorway at them. 

_“Welcome to the Jersey Sandsteamer!”_

And the man they just talked to was gone again. 

_”GODDAMMIT!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SANDSTEAMER TIME


	7. The Runaways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jersey Sandsteamer has lots to offer—food, bedrooms, and even a popular band called the Runaways! But one Runaway discovers the existence of a strange man on board. . .

_“He left, Milly. AGAIN!”_

_”I know, Meryl, but you can try to calm down! We can finally rest without having to worry about Vash or his henchmen.”_

”Rest? _Rest_?! Do you think this is some sort of vacation?!,” the witch wonders out loud to her friend, who blinked in a bit of surprise about her yelling fit. “We still haven’t found him in any sort of way, Milly!”

”I know, Meryl, but. . .we need a break. It’s been two days of non-stop searching. Just a day of rest on the sandsteamer could do!”

The witch sighs, placing her suitcase into the sandsteamer’s hotel-like closet, sitting down the bed with a small huff. She couldn’t rest—she wasn’t like her friend, who wanted to slow everything down. .but this bed was really comfortable, and it was almost like it called her name. . .

Meryl was knocked out cold, Milly chuckling lightly on her own bed at the sight. Hm. . .what could she do here? Maybe she could buy something—? Yes, that’s what she should do! The ragdoll opens the door quietly, not wanting to disturb Meryl’s sleep as she stepped away from the room.   
  
Food? She could buy some desserts, like a sweet roll for Meryl in case she got hungry. Or maybe she could buy some fancy jewelry that Meryl always wanted! Hm. . .

”Oop!,” both her and a stranger let out as they bumped into each other, shaking their heads once they got a full look at the latter.

”Hello!,” Milly happily waves.

”Hey!,” the stranger, who had short purple hair underneath a grey hoodie waved. On his back he carried a bag containing a few discs and some drumsticks. “You look like you just got fresh on the sandsteamer, lady!”

”Oh, why yes, I am new here! Me and my boss came all this way to find a very famous person named Vash the Stampede!”

”Vash the Stampede, huh? Dude, I doubt that he’d be on a sandsteamer—anyways, my name’s Kidd! What about you, ragdoll girl?”

The brunette gives Kidd a very happy smile. “My name’s Milly Thompson! It’s nice to meet you, Kidd! But I would say that I’ve seen your face before. . .wait—,” she gasps, her expression turning into genuine excitement, “aren’t you a part of _The Runaways_?!”

”Why, yes, I am! We’re actually performin’ on the sandsteamer tonight! The captain let us on here with our very own suite and everything! Maybe you could come by and see it!”

”I’d _love_ to! It was nice meeting you, Kidd!”

“Nice talking to you too, Milly!,” Kidd says with a wholehearted smile, watching as the brunette happily hummed away. The purple-haired artist skipped along, humming his own little tune. Hell, he even started dancing to it!

Another “ _oof”_ moment occurred, the smaller teen chuckling at the bump. “Sorry, man! I didn’t mean. . .to. . .”

The first thing that Kidd notices on this man was the strange red vest he wore, not to mention that long, black T-Shirt, too. That long glove looked suspicious, as well as that red ring complete on a long set of nails, but nothing came even _close_ to that docile looking face. . .

With eyes tainted with the color of crimson.

”. . .Hi!,” the fanged man greeted him.

Instead of greeting him back, Kidd stared at the tall man before letting out a very dramatic scream. The blonde did the exact same thing, except for the part where Kidd ran away.

_“NOPE. NOPE. NO.”_

“ _You really think that man was. . .you know who?”_

” _Liz, from the bottom of my heart_ — _YES_!”

Liz squints at her friend, wondering if he had truly lost it this time. “. . .Are you being serious or this one of your weird little lies just to make someone mad?”

”Liz, I’m being _so_ deadass when I say that Vash the Stampede is on this sandsteamer _as we speak_! He’s probably working on our demise, finding out everything about us. . .,” the purple-haired musician worriedly twiddles his thumbs. He could’ve sworn that was him—he _knows_ it. 

“. . .Kidd, listen: Vash the Stampede is _not_ on the sandsteamer, and if he were, he would’ve been drinking our blood by now, okay? Why don’t we just go to Bea or Music and they can sort this out?”

Kidd raises a finger in protest to his lips. “Are you _insane_?! Do you know how big of a deal Music’ll treat it?! That girl doesn’t care if someone like Vash were here, she’d still do some crazy shit on her concerts just for him to come out!”

“Bro, I _promise_ you that Vash isn’t—.”

Another bump in with a blonde man, the same vest and the same black shirt appearing. He chuckles nervously, trying to wave at the very least because he was interrupted last time.

”Hi—. . .again!”

”. . .Is that him?,” Liz whispers to Kidd as she points.

”Yeah.”

”. . .Are you sure?”

”Yep.”

”Good.”

Another screaming moment ensues, both teens running away from Vash. 

_”ALEX, ALEX, WE ACTUALLY SAW HIM THIS TIME AND IT’S NOT A JOKE!”_

_”I’m not gonna deal with this.”_

The DJ grabs both Kidd and Liz by their hoodies, lifting them up so that they can explain themselves to the eldest of the group. “Bea, both of ‘em are going on about how the Stampede showed up on the steamer.”

”Really? _Again_ , you two?!,” Bea shouts, placing her hands on her hips once she saw them both. “Look, I know we’re on a new steamer, but you guys can’t just say that “ _you know who_ ” is—“

”Man, it takes forever to catch up with you two!,” the Vampire says behind Alex, his tall figure holding the bag that fell off off Kidd when he ran. “I wanted to return your bag, purple kid!” 

Alex, who probably never got scared in their life, turned around really slowly to see the blonde. This time, instead of a happy smile, he smiles very weakly and with defeat, says,

”Please, _please_ , don’t. . .”

The four of them quickly vanish out of sight, and Vash just wants to low-key scream at this point.

“ _MUSIC—_ “

” _Why are **all** of you screaming???_”

The lady lets her friends inside of the suite, and it goes downhill from there. Collective shouting and yelling, followed by collective crying and shouts of “I DON’T WANNA DIE” from Kidd made her very worried.

“Guys! What is going on. . .? Did something happen?”

A knock makes everyone’s heads turn to the closed door. The same blonde man the four of them saw stood outside, holding the same bag he was trying to give back to them. . .

”. . .I don’t want trouble anymore, so. . .here’s your bag. . .”

”. . .He’s here, isn’t he—“

“ _YES_!,” everyone else whisperingly shouts. Music heads back to the door, opening it in order to let him in. Vash breathes a sigh of relief—finally, someone who won’t run away! 

“Hi, um. . .I wanted to—“

_BANG!_

A thud was heard, and the vampire slumps to the floor. The culprit held a vase in his hands as everyone stared, shocked at the fact that he just did that. . .

_”Kidd, will you stop doing that?!”_

_”Music, unless you get the people that come in here glasses or something, I’m **going** to hit them!”_

_Like he said: this will be one “fun” night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kidd @ the rest of the runaways when he saw vash:
> 
> *EMERGENCY MEETING*


	8. The Neon Dynamites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Runaways deal with the fact that they’ve come face-to-face with the Stampede, an uninvited guest appears on the sandsteamer!

_“ **Vash? Wake up now, Vash. . .”**_

_“Why did you do that. . .?”_

_”I thought he was gonna kill us or something! You think I’d let him do that?!”_

_”Kidd, I’m pretty sure that he wanted to return the bag.”_

The leader of the band sighs, shaking the vampire’s body one more time in the hopes of him waking up. Sometimes, she should really take the initiative to _not_ let the youngest member fly off the handle like that. . .

”Hey, are you dead?,” Liz asks, flicking Vash’s head without thinking. “Muse, is he dead—“

One loud, hilariously made yell confirmed the answer. The Runaways all collectively scream back in fear, all five huddled together in the corner of the suite. It seems as if they all regret their decision to wake him up. . .

”. . .I’ve been tracking _you_ down,” Vash points at Kidd, who whimpers, “to give you _this_ back,” then he points to the bag, “and you ran away _three_ times! THREE TIMES!”

Everyone in the group blinks before Kidd replies:

”. . .So, you’re _not_ gonna drink our blood? You’re not gonna murder us, man?”

The vampire looks offended—he would joke that it was his second idea, but they’re already terrified enough as it is. “No! I just wanted to give you the bag! Why would I want to kill you guys?”

Kidd’s never seen the rest of the Runaways stare at him with so much disappointment ( actually, he’s seen it _a_ _lot_ ) in his life. Guess he wouldn’t hurt them after all, right. . .?

“I’m so sorry for what happened, sir,” Music speaks, the rest of the band apologizing in little whispers still laced with fear. “I think my bandmates made a mistake—they thought that you were Vash the Stampede and they came to me yellin’ about it. . .”

”But he is,” Bea walks out of the corner, placing a hand on her hips. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“Remember what?”

”The Wanted poster that Kidd gave us. That face,” she says, pointing at Vash, “is on that poster.”

Music looks from her friend back to the vampire. It _couldn’t_ be him. . .she couldn’t believe that herself. 

“. . .Is it true?”

Vash stands, silent for a moment. There’s no harm in telling them the truth—they already know his face.  
  


_”I am Vash the Stampede.”_

**_Meanwhile. . ._ **

“ _Boss, boss! The target’s not too far from the car! From here, we can hitch a ride on the sandsteamer—“_

”A ride? An ordinary ride on such a beautiful discovery that shines in the darkest of nights?,” the cunning boss replies with a smirk, tipping his hat to the ground below. “Yes, such a jewel as this is _more_ than a ride. . .”

The man points his cane to the steamer, and the plan is set in stone. Threads loaded with neon stretch to grab onto the ship, the henchmen of the boss loading themselves on it. The brilliant boss twirls the magical cane in his hands, disappearing in a cloud of colorful smoke before appearing front and center with a grin. . .

_“Let’s see what’ll sparkle most tonight, men!”_

The Bad Lads roam the steamer’s control room, breaking into the captain’s deck. Gunfire was drowned out with captured yells, most of them tied up by the same colorful threads. 

“This is my ship, you bastards! What do you think you’re—“

Without any sort of hesitation, Neon pulls the trigger of his pistol, shooting the captain out of mere annoyance. Anyone who dare tried to speak against him and his gang of ruthless men were to be met with the same fate. 

“Langston Canyon shouldn’t be that far ahead, sir. We should be able to clear out of the canyon in no time on this bad puppy!”

“You want us to safely steer out of the canyon? _You_ defy _my_ plans?!”

The Bad Lad crouches in some fear at that statement. “N-no, sir! I think that since we’re on the steamer, it would be best to cross the canyon instead of ramming into it. . .”

Another pull, this time into the head of the henchman. 

_“Unless you all want to end up like him, you’ll do as you’re told. We **will** bring the greatness of this ship to light!”_

_Yells of triumph ensue among the gang. But in other quarters. . ._

“So, wait—you’re tellin’ me that you don’t drink from humans?”

The vampire (who was enjoying an actual drink of wine this time around) rested his head on the palm of his hand. “No, I don’t. It seems immoral of me to do so—I wouldn’t want to upset anyone by drinking from a human.”

”So what helps you with your whole drinking blood getup?,” Liz asks, gesturing to Vash’s mouth, possibly because of the pearly white fangs. 

“I drink from animals.”

”Not the poor animals!,” Kidd butts in, shaking the vampire in some disbelief. “What did they do to you, man?! They didn’t do anything wrong! Why would you drink from animals?! What compels you to do that?!”

Bea pulls the teen away from Vash hella quickly. So much for trying to get that answer out of him. . .

”. . .They’re the only other thing with blood in them on this planet. Without it, I wouldn’t survive.”

”But what if there aren’t any animals? What if there’s just people?,” the leader of the group questions. Sure, he does drink from other species in order to live, but—what happens if humans are the only ones there. . .?

”I can eat normal things,” Vash answers,”but only for a short time. Other than that, I don’t know what would happen if there wasn’t anything else besides humans.”

“Do you get urges to drink from them?”

At that, Vash becomes quiet, slowly having to build up the words in order to say it. . .

”. . .I—AAUGH—!”

The Runaways and Vash collide into each other, confused as to why the steamed suddenly jerked like that. “The hell?! What just happened?!”

” _It’s the Bad_ _Lads_!”

 _“_ I’m sorry, the _what?,”_ Kidd scrambles to the top of the pile, heading out of the door to see a few people running down the hall all the way to another class. Before he could say anything else, Music grabs his hand and the rest of the band head in the same direction. 

But where was the Stampede—?

”Where’s Vash?!,” Kidd turns his head to see if the vampire was in sight, slipping away from the rest of the group. Liz, with a small sigh, heads away from them in order to keep up with her friend who saw Vash running the opposite way.

“Kidd, wait a second! Don’t follow h—!”

As soon as he looked behind him, Liz was gone. What—she was just right there! What happened to her?! 

“C’mon!,” the vampire grabs his hand this time, leading him to another part of the steamer. 

_“Someone took Liz!”_

_”Someone took—how?!”_

_”She was right there! She was about to follow me! We have to go back!”_

_”. . .”_

_. . .Why does life do this to him? The vampire sighs, right before saying:_

_”. . .Fine. We’ll go back.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vash: WHY CAN’T I GET ONE BREAK


	9. The Rescue!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the band separated, Vash and Kidd have to fight their way through a multitude of Bad Lads! Every moment counts on the sandsteamer as the canyon closes in. . .

_“Y’know, if you’re gonna kidnap someone, at the very least give them food or something!”_

_”Something tells me you don’t have the tendency to shut your trap, lady.”_

Liz was thrown down harshly by a Bad Lad, ending up next to a few other hostages in the room. So _this_ is the front of the sandsteamer—she had thought it would have been more luxurious like the suite. . .

“Well, this is cozy. . .,” the blonde mutters, sitting up the second she touches the floor. “But since I’m here, I’m gonna assume that you’re the boss, aren’t you?”

The shining boss grimly chuckles, moving away from the chair that he was sitting in so he could see the Runaway face-to-face. 

“You’re a smart one, aren’t you?”

”Depends on the situation.”

”I’ve heard about your friends—they sparkle brightly, just like _you_. Too bad that you’ll probably never see them again.”

”What do you mean by that?”

”What I mean is,” Neon points the glowing staff to the view of the incoming canyon, a ghastly smile appearing on his face, “this sandsteamer’s gonna make the biggest mess—me and boys are pile-driving it straight into the canyon!”

”. . .Are you stupid?”

The boss nearly misses her face as he shoots a beam of neon into the wall.

“No—me and my boys have a plan to get out of here. And, but of course, there’s no hope for you. . .”

A single twirl of the staff confirmed his point:

_**“Here’s to a beautiful rendezvous!”** _

**Meanwhile. . .**

_“Vash, I know that you’re trying to be sneaky, but—_

WE CAN’T STAY IN THIS VENT FOREVER, MAN!”

“Well, I had to go back for you so we could go after your friend, so _yes_ , we’re staying in this vent for a second!”

Kidd huffs, staring down with Vash through the vent as the Bad Lads ran down the halls. What the hell is this man planning to do? It’s not like he can rea Vash’s mind!

“. . .So what are we gonna do?”

”We’re gonna charge, that’s what.”

”We’rE GONNA _WHAT_?”

 _POP_ goes off the vent as it’s opened. Three of the henchmen stare at it for a moment before leaning their heads upwards—

—and _BAM_ goes the Stampede and Kidd falling on the three of them! Luck is definitely on their side somehow, and as long as they still live, they can get to Liz! The vampire slowly draws his gun as soon as a Bad Lad gains some amount of conscious, but then, he smiles.

. . .Kidd _knows_ that Vash is a vampire, but a _gunslinger_ , too?! Who knew this man had many secrets to hide? Anyways, they’re both back to running, until Vash comes to a quick halt. 

“Vash, what the— _oh_. Doesn’t this connect to the intercom?,” the Runaway questions, flicking the mic softly as a _ting_ rings off of it. 

“Of course it does.”

Kidd’s smiling this time, and the vampire slowly catches on. Vash clears his throat in one fell swoop before:

_” **Attention, all crazy Bad Lads running amok in the halls! It’s me, the one, the only, the most handsomest and luxurious vampire to ever live: VASH THE STAMPEDE!”**_

“DO YOU _REALLY_ THINK THAT’S HIM?!”

Both Vash and Kidd _scream_ for a minute, but Vash’s expression calms itself when he realizes who’s talking. “Oh, hi, Insurance Witch and Ragdoll Girl! And you’ve brought friends!”

The rest of the Runaways gives tiny little salutes of greetings while Milly waves. 

“Music,” the youngest of the band places his hands on the leader’s shoulders, a very worried expression appearing on his face. “They took Liz, so me and Vash are trying to get her back! Since we’re all here, we can go up to that weird boss of the Bad Lads and show him what we’re made of!”

”Kidd, we don’t have weapons.”

”But _he_ does!,” Kidd points at Vash. “I’m pretty sure that he’s got this, right?”

“. . .Of course I do! I promise that I’ll get Liz and I—“

Unexpectedly, a few more Bad Lads show up in the room. **Seven People Of Different Backgrounds that Met Under Weird Circumstances vs Five Bad Lads: Who will win?**

_( It was clear who the winners were here. )_

”Come on!,” Meryl leads the group out of the room, the rest of the Runaways following behind her and Milly. The Insurance Witch quickly summons up a barrage of derringers, ordering them to shoot at a group of Bad Lads that were nearby. 

Milly followed suit, another armada of Bad Lads starting to shoot at her. A few shots of her stun-gun and then _BAM_! They were out like lights.

However, Vash and Kidd kept going, the girls covering them—even the other Runaways started helping by knocking nearby things down in order to stop the henchmen from reaching the duo.

”How far are we from the front, Kidd?”

”I think it’s up here! That way, we can make it t—oH, SHIT!”

A Bad Lad throws lead at them both, and Vash does something that _almost_ made Kidd scream out of alarm: he grabs him, and he starts _running_ on the wall.   
  


Running. On the goddamn wall.

Kidd tries not to let go of his hand and slip off as the vampire shoots at nearby Bad Lads—but something was off. . .

Vash immediately lands back on the floor, crouching down to see that he had heavily injured both of the men. Damn it all! The vampire rips off some cloth from his cloak, tying it around their wounds without making haste.

”What—what are you _doing_?! They were just trying to kill us both—. . .”

“. . .I can’t let them die here.”

. . .He doesn’t understand. Why is he—why is he saving people that tried to kill them?! But then again—was that _blood_ he saw coming out of Vash, too? Sliver bullets—

—they were prepared for anything, even The Humanoid Typhoon to show up.

”. . .Why?,” Kidd says softly.

”. . .”

_”It would make her sad.”_

Her? There wasn’t any time to question it. The Runaway helps Vash stand back up, walking slowly with him to the fron of the sandsteamer. Hopefully, there isn’t an armada behind this door. . .hopefully, there isn’t—

And as soon as Vash opens it, a full-house of Bad Lads stood there with their leader in tow.

_“It seems as if you shine the worst—_

_**Vash the Stampede.** ”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vash and kidd collectively: YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME


	10. The Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight between the Legendary Outlaw and the Shining Dynamite prevails! But will the vampire save everyone on the sandsteamer from a deadly fate. . .?

“. . . ** _Shit_**.”

Neon stands in the middle of his boys with a very hellish grin, something that scares Kidd so quickly that he crouches behind Vash. There’s something about that grin that he doesn’t like. . .it’s very off-putting to him.

“Who would’ve thought that the legendary vampire would show his face on a sandsteamer _filled_ with onlookers like this?”

The vampire’s mouth opens, but all that comes out is a grunt and a shaky breath. Damn silver bullets are taking a toll on him, but he’s felt worse than that. He tries to speak again. 

“. . .What kind of plans are you trying to make? You know they won’t be successful—you _know_ that you’re gonna kill a bunch of innocents!” 

“I know. But why would _you_ care? You’d suck the life out of all of them one by one. Why would a vampire want to care for humans?”

Footsteps are heard, the girls and the rest of the band joining both Vash and Kidd by their side. The vampire notably starts forgetting about his recent pain, looking at the boss sternly in those dark eyes. 

“ _Answer me_. Why would _you_ , of all people, Humanoid Typhoon— _why_ would you care about humans?”

_Humanoid Typhoon?_ Meryl looks up at the vampire, wondering. . .how could he be Vash the Stampede? The man that somehow saved the witch and her friend from some dupe, and then he saves a family from a town—? 

_Saving_ people? This man couldn’t be him. . .

The vampire takes a breath before the answer comes out, and it shocks her when she hears it:

_”. . .No one has the right to take the life of another.”_

Even the band and Milly were surprised to hear it come from him. Neon wasn’t amused as he stepped away from the Bad Lads, striking Vash with the staff that he held across his face. 

“ _Don’t give me your bullshit._ ”

The vampire says nothing, even when blood drips from his mouth. Slowly, he pushes Kidd back to the group—

—and in a very swift motion, Vash leaps up to give a kick to Neon’s middle, sending them both flying out of the front of the steamer’s panel window. The group sees them both fall as they fight off the Bad Lads.

”Kidd!,” Liz’s voice rang out amongst the hostages. The Runaway quickly runs to them, setting them free. Hopefully, Vash knows what he’s doing. . .

” _You don’t sit still **at all!** ”_

Neon’s staff shoots out colorful bolts at the vampire, who swiftly dodges them despite the pain of the bullet in his side. Vash’s fists do the talking, taking turns at the Dynamite’s face over and over again. However, Neon swings the staff at Vash’s injured side, taking note of the wound oozing with blood.

”. . .You’re very stupid,” he says with a chuckle, kicking the vampire in his stomach. Vash groans, trying not to get even more fired up as he already was. . .

”Fighting with a wound? That’s not even memorable—but do you really expect to save everyone on this steamer, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“Do you _really_ think,” the boss slams Vash’s head into the floor, still holding his same smile, “that _you_ can beat _me_?! Even _if_ you destroyed a town, you’re too weak to beat me!” 

“ _Shut up_!”

”In fact, why don’t I just kill everyone now? You still won’t be able to stop me. . .”

Was he. . . _snarling_? The boss squints in some agitation, lifting up the vampire who made the sound with a frown this time. “What? Did I piss you off? Did I break you? Are you gonna cry—“

A shot was heard and Neon could only see red, the derringer that appeared fading out of sight to show the Insurance Witch appearing near him. 

“Aw, look at you, trying to save your little boyfriend, huh? That’s _so_ sweet!”

As soon as he tried to fire another bullet, Vash scratches him across the face with very sharp claws, causing Neon to drop the blonde. Where was he—why in the hell was he so quick?! One by one, Vash ran, each scratch somehow appearing more fast than the last. . .

And finally, the vampire lands a powerful left hook to his cheek, Neon falling down in some amount of defeat. 

Vash almost falls, but Meryl catches him so that he wouldn’t. Meanwhile, cheers were heard from the panel, the Runaways as well as all of the people on the train finding out who won the battle. 

“. . Is it true?,” the witch asks.

All Vash could do was smile.

“ _I am Vash the Stampede.”_

But before she could say another word, the sandsteamer jerks, everyone toppling over. How could they stop this thing?! Somehow. . .

The ragdoll gets the idea first, swiftly rebooting the controls so that the steamer could make a perfect stop, but—that only slowed it a tiny bit! Any more speed, and the canyon would fall over Little Jersey! 

“Let me try it,” Kidd speaks, taking over for Milly and working the controls so that the steamer could make a steady halt.

_”Everyone, hang on!”_

Everyone does at they’re told, and Kidd _pulls_ the breaks of the lever as the steamer enters the canyon. . .slowly, _slowly_. . .

As soon as everyone on board could see Little Jersey, there were cheers all around, notably for Vash, but also for Kidd’s bravery within the situation. Meryl sighs, helping the vampire into the steamer as the suns came up.

_“Yo, I thought we were all gonna die! Neon said that he was gonna drop the steamer into the canyon and I was like “oh, really” and then he was like. . .”_

The blonde explained to her bandmates as to what happened while she was a hostage, Vash watching the horizon for the town of Little Jersey. There was smoke, of course, but Meryl places his cloak over him with a smile.

“Who would’ve thought that it was you all this time, huh?”

”I knew it was him from the start!,” Milly speaks with a smile. The vampire chuckles, and the band’s youngest member pats his shoulder.

”You alright, man?”

”Of course. I—thank you for stopping the steamer, Kidd.”

Did—did a _vampire_ just say his name?! He feels as if he just swooned just by Vash saying it like that. . .however, the rest of the band joins the group, watching along with Vash.

“Y’know,” Bea starts off, “I’m gonna miss you, you weirdo.”

”. . .I’m gonna miss you too,” Alex quietly says. 

“We’re all gonna miss you guys!,” Music says—and is then interrupted by both Liz and Kidd’s hysterical sobbing. Will he ever catch a break from the hysterics anyway? But he does join the both of them in their crying hug ensuing. 

_Meryl really wishes that it wasn’t him at the moment. . ._

_”Ma’am, the report!”_

_**”After three weeks of receiving our orders, we are happily announcing that we have achieved contact with. . .”** _

_**Clink!** _ _Goes_ _the typewriter as Meryl disappointedly types over a mountain of crying._

_**“Contact with the legendary vampire, Vash the Stam. . .”** _

_**”Vash the Stam. . .”** _

_**”Vash the. . .”** _

_**”The. . .”** _

**”** I CAN’T STAND THIS ANYMORE!”

_In the distance, a creature watches, growling from on top of the canyon. ._ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kidd and liz at the same time: HEY DO YOU WANNA GET MARRIED
> 
> vash:


End file.
